Ever have that feeling when you feel like "damn why me" or the famous "FML" (fuck my life). I know I had & still do have from time to time. Back in March of 2009 I decided to write a letter to my life explain how I felt about her. I shared it on my facebook notes & got really good feed back. I hope you all enjoy !
Dear Life,
i known you for 18 years
& come august we would be friends for 19
so i just want to say thank you for that blessing
& i hope we have many many many more years to come
but im writing you this letter because lately you've been giving me trouble
& there's no need for me to say it because you & i already know what the problems are
for 16 of my 18 years you weren't so bad to me
we had our ups & downs but like many things i didn't understand you that much at 16
but by the time i was 17|18 you turned on me you stupid fucking bitch
& excuse my language i really don't mean it but im angry with you
i sometimes wonder why you put me threw stuff
is it because i hardly thought of you?
if so you have to understand i was young i wasnt thinking about you i was just living you
living you up to the fullest & trying to have fun
i wasn't planning on taking you serious until i was like 20 or 21
you haven't taken my youth but you got me thinking like a female that's way older then me
im not your average 18 year old female
shoot the way i grew up i don't even look like one
the thoughts that run threw my head are because of what you put me threw
no one knows my problems except & me you
im also writing you this letter because your the one i love the most in this world
i cherish you i take care of you & even though i used to not think of you so much
i do now so stop treating me as if i neglect you
because at this time in my life all i do is think of you
i think about how you made me into the beautiful young woman i am today
i think about how you brung me happiness
& brung people into my life that love me for me
& took out the ones who were useless & had motives to hurt me
i think about how you hurt me & sometimes made me feel weak
i think about times when i thought all i had was you
& it was just me you against the world
i think about the times when you had me laying alone awake at night with sorrow filling my eyes
i think about the times for you making me not strong enough to cry & release my pain threw tears
i think about the times that you made me put on a disguise of being that strong girl that doesn't feel pain i think about the times when im left with no shoulder to lean on
i think about the times when you made me everyone else soldier & left me in an army alone
i think about all the times you made me bottle all my hurt inside
i think about the times when i wanted a hero; a hero for myself to listen & help me but instead you put up a guard & you didn't allow me to express myself
i think about all the times when you knew i wanted a simple hello or a nice gesture from a special someone so bad & you left me alone just with you
why are you so selfish?
sometimes its like you don't understand your always gonna be here so don't worry
i won't put anyone before you because at the end of the day all i have is you
i also think about the hardships & pain & tears & every tuff & hard time you put me threw
& now that i think of it
i honestly from the bottom of my heart thank you
im now realizing you did this for a good reason
you made me into the woman i am today
from my looks to my personality
to the closeness i have with my family
to the friends i keep & to the ones i threw away
& to the trust i have in others to the trust i have in myself
they way i love myself & to the way that i love others
everything you put me threw was for a reason & im happy you did that
i now understand your motives & your intentions
& i apologize for calling you a bitch even though sometimes you are
but you are for all the right reasons
so thank you life
i love the bitch in you because it brings out the best in me
-- love always angela " angie " philitas
p.s- the love i have for you compares to no other so always remember our bittersweet relationship keeps me going ily -- you the fucking best :-*
i love it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFAVORITE LINE :is it because i hardly thought of you?
if so you have to understand i was young i wasnt thinking about you i was just living you
living you up to the fullest & trying to have fun